Wednesday, August 28, 2019


I am posting this because it is currently relevant to a family I know.  I have been at this for over 40 years and I can tell you no matter how loving of a parent you are, you can mess this up.  The gay spectrum, which I now prefer to call human identity spectrum, is so complex no label can possibly describe anyone.  In fact I no longer believe in gender.  Given the spectrum I have no idea what gender means, which is it why we must end labels, and just embrace one another as life goes on and think nothing about how we present themselves of who we date. 

If you insist on gender, I suggest you fear something about yourself.  You should just be happy being whomever you are without a need to associate with the social construct of a non-existent gender. It is a word people, unsupported by any medical evidence.  The social construct of gender oppresses people based on gender.  When we remove the social construct of gender from the equation, there can be no oppression on the issue or perceived social norms.


First the family member who feels a need to identify outside the social construct of straight often misinterprets family concerns and fears as rejection when in fact concerns and fears can be an act of love.  You cannot expect your family to understand everything in 2 seconds which you have known about and struggled with for years.

This is why the above post is so important.  It should not even be an issue.


When I hear of a person stating they fall out of the social construct of straight the first thing I think of is STD's.  Sexual predators are a dime a dozen in Brownsville looking for these young people struggling with their identity.  When the above becomes the norm the struggle will end. 

Our schools have nothing for these young adults.  The concept that a person can test negative for STD's at 10 a.m., but have a host of STD's by noon is not understood by people.  You cannot trust anyone who claims a test says they are negative.  Did they have relations with someone else after the test.  Can you trust them to be telling the truth?

Further, a big issue with labels for me is, many of our youth feel like they have to act on their feelings to prove themselves.  No, hell no.  Sex does not define you.  I am not against sex, I am for education and insuring our youth are mature enough to act responsibly on their feelings.


Parents, no matter how loving, are clueless about how scared people are of being rejected by their parents.  It is an unbearable pain.  It is a pain which goes on for years for no better reason than parents do not think before they speak.  When as a parent your 5 year old hears you make a comment about girly boys, they learn you have a problem with girly boys, and they will not trust that you will accept them if they do not fit into your misconceived social construct of normal.

When you make any bigoted comment you send a message bigotry is OK. 

So a father who will die for Trump faces his child who does not fall within the social construct of normal without a concern in the world Trump just asked the Supreme Court to make it legal to fire your child for being themselves.  I can tell you, at that moment you have lost all trust with your child.  You the parent killed the parent child relationship.

I end this with, I hope I see the day when the above is true.  To be honest with everyone, based on everything I know about the human identity spectrum, I have no idea where I fall and do not care. The spectrum is so, so complex a label is impossible. I do not need a label.  I just need to be me, because if I cannot be myself, who can I be?

No comments: