Tuesday, July 18, 2017


OUR FAMILY IS HOPELESSLY DYSFUNCTIONAL AND DAMN PROUD OF IT

I really want to write a nasty post about our elected federal officials in Texas, namely Filamon Vela, John Cornyn and Ted Cruz, all through their inaction have shown nothing but contempt for veterans, but it would be three pages of cuz words, so I will not allow them to best me by ruining my mood.

DAYS AWAY FROM THE INVASION OF 37 FAMILY MEMBERS

I want to begin with, being separated from family and the support they bring, even when they yell, is a bitch.  Today a nephew's wife, whom we all adore, was in an accident.  They only have the one car.  It took several hours for his younger sister to arrive from another part of Colorado along with the husband of another cousin.  His sister stayed and watched their toddler son, while the husband of his cousin drove him to the hospital.  The wife is shaken, but okay.  The police report blames the other driver, but for now they have no car.  Good news is they run a successful computer business out of the home.  This is family, running to your side when in time of need.

I have no idea how it will work, but one flight from NY will have 25.  There will be 10 children 13 or younger.  Not all 25 are going to get A boarding passes on Southwest.  That plane is going to be delayed as they try and make sure every child has an adult, although the 3 13 year old will probably be okay in separate seats.  And then they have to do it again in Houston.  So if you hear of a Southwest flight being diverted because of some out of control family of 25, you know they are mine.

No matter how much we argue over the dumbest things, when push comes to shove we stand together.  About the time I moved to Texas some 41 years ago, a neighbor's kid robbed mom's house. The kid's mother actually called the police on mom claiming her sons were going to kill her son for robbing mom's home.  People feared our family out of mere size, but I cannot think of once where any of us every attacked anyone.  It was that image of fear which people feared.  Well it did not take long for the police to realize the neighbor was a nut job which explained why her son was a thief.

Our politics are very diverse from unrelenting Trumpites out of sheer hatred for Hillary, to extreme left wing.  Then there are the flavor of the day.  Nothing matters until it hits home.  Every one is good with one another but the flavor of the day ones, tend to get on every ones nerve.  They are not coming because they have managed to blame everyone for the mess they made of their kids.  Two college graduates too important to have to work.  Family can fight and move on, because we realize the fight is stupid.  But when you blame your family for raising two spoiled children who eventually purportedly grew into adulthood, and refuse to apologize or even accept they crossed the line with their comments toward the family, you end up isolated, which they are.  It was the maddest I have ever been at family.  Had my sister not showed up to take me to her home when she did, I may have hit both of them and then stormed out of the house.  They were actually blaming my generation and me in particular for not fighting for equality for LGBTQ.  I have been on the front lines since 1984.  It was not their childish ignorance which hurt, but my brother standing with his kids and wife and saying nothing.  And given the fact I fought both of them tooth and nail about marriage equality until both of their kids came out, neither has anything to say I wanted to hear.

So why did I just go negative, because normal healthy families have blow ups, and normal healthy people wait it out.  I am told my brother is pretty much done with it.  I hope so, because if they divorce maybe the kids will see the consequences of their actions.  But I know with a hundred percent certainty my brother will come around.  Everyone has told him they are done with his wife blaming all of her bad parenting and her kid's problems on the family.  It has been too many years of her telling us how horrible we are.  With her there is no going back.  My brother screwed up out of codependency and gave her a free hand, and he will admit to it. My family is the most loving and embracing family I know.  But 25 years of abuse is all we are going to take.  That ship has sailed.

Our family gatherings are a hoot.  You will hear some yelling, then crying then laughing before the night is over.  We all leave happy.  The problem brother no longer joins family functions because his wife will threaten him.  But I am told he misses the gathering and he is ready for a decision even if she threatens divorce.

So the family is set for the gathering.  I think other than one night at Louie's Backyard we will never all be together.  Those with the younger kids plan to be on the Pirates ship while the older ones go on these banana boats and flying while being  pulled behind a boat.  Some want to do the three hour bay fishing trip.  Maybe 10 or so of us will being going to Nuevo Progresso.  Also about 10 will be going to the zoo.  I will have a good mix of the family every day without being overwhelmed.  We will all be too drunk at Louie's Backyard to care.

There will always be a mix of different family members every day.  My sister loves to make breakfast during these trips for her clan of 18 - and she will.  A brother has already told everyone in his clan they are going to Stripes every morning.  I suspect some will sneak over to my sister's place.

Louie's Backyard is going to be a blast with all 37.  I will not be there every day because I am tired, and cannot keep up.  I will be there day one, for Nuevo Progresso, the zoo and Louie's Backyard.  I may go fishing if it is the same day as Louie's Backyard.

Yes there will be yelling - hey we are a big group and that is how you are heard.  But in the end we will be solid and have a blast.  I am just sorry the one brother will not be there because of the situation.  But within the year he will rejoin the family and not care what the wife has to say.  She owes us an apology for bad mouthing us for 25 years and then blaming us for being a bad parent.

In the end guys no matter how dysfunctional your family is, they are your family.  We may not be 100% united right now, but within the year we will and no one will care about the past.  We will just be happy as can be to be fully united again, and yelling at one another over stupid thinks like, did daddy have a green mustache.  Yes the debate has been raging for 54 years.  I'm laughing so hard over the silliness of it.

Guys, life without your family support is a real bitch.  They are going to take care of all my needs for the week so long as I am on SPI with them, and some have offered to move me to NY to get my heath care from the VA Northport, and then I can return to my home.  Yea, I am not game on leaving Buster.  Her time is soon.

But for now one Buster goes, and my obligation to my olderst brother is done with, I am leaning to NC.  I can take Amtrak once a month to NY which will be enough.  I am thinking of Colorado, but boy is it expensive.  Taking Amtrak to NY for 5 days a month will be just about right, and I will be able to afford a nice little house.

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