Saturday, July 1, 2017


One year ago today I got the call that my brother in law had passed from a rare form of terminal brain cancer.  He was under the care of Sloan Kettering, one of the best cancer the world.  Only people who have had breast, esophageal or lung cancer get this type brain cancer.

He knew it was over.  Within hours of the diagnosis he was moved to hospice care.  During the final hour before he passed he made my sister promise to not start the process of the wake until the 5th.  He insisted everything already planned go forward.  This included his daughter's annual 4th of July party.  That was one real weird party.  People were sad, but having a good time.

Mary will normally ask me how Dorothy is doing in the nursing home.  I will tell her fine and then we move on.  What I did not tell her was our sister had died the night before.  Earlier on the 3rd I got the email that her family pulled the life support.  Just before midnight I was informed she had passed.

I made the decision to hide the truth from the family.  There was nothing anyone could do because we were gathering from all over the US for my brother in laws funeral in NY.  My phone service which is a national service sucks in NY.  That first night at 3 in the morning I was ordering flowers from the family for Dorothy's service.  And yes I was sitting in the middle of the street trying to get two or  three bars.

Any way back to Mary and Dorothy. So we are sitting there on the 4th just talking and she keeps on asking more and more questions about Dorothy.  She has never done that before.  So I could not just keep on lying and told her I was lying because I did not want to add to her grief or take away from her grief.  I told her just before mid-night Dorothy passed.  She smiled and said, her late husband had been in her head insisting she continue to drill me about Dorothy.  In her mind it meant they were together and safe.  She was glad I told her.

My grandmother's grandfather on her mother's side was a Nicaro healer - shaman in you will.  Some us have that special connect and can see or hear things.  I use to tell my mom to call her mom in Nicaragua because something was wrong.  She would tell mom "Bobbysito told you to call - I knew he would hear me."

When her brother Humberto died at age 99, at 6 p.m. our time, 7 p.m. NY time, I was telling my brother law Danny Montes how Humberto was so helpful with mom after daddy died.  I just started talking about him and how much we all loved him.  Well the next day I called my tia Angelita as I had been doing every Sunday for years, and she says "guess who died last night?"  I said tio Humberto.  She asked if he came to me about 7 p.m. NY time, and I said yes.


The boat belongs to the youngest of the clan.  He is in the grey shirt in the front.  That boat was sinking.  We took the picture and then people were ordered off.  The swimmers deck was about 4 inches underwater.  It was a great day on Fire Island.

In a few weeks 37 of the clan will invade SPI.  The trip had been in the planning since before my brother in law passed.  Last year I lost a sister and two brother in laws.  At the funeral last year 37 committed to the trip.  Kenny who loved SPI and our late brother in law Danny Montes, will be missed but remembered, He was so looking forward to bringing his personal clan of three daughters, three son in laws, and 9 grandchildren.  With the oldest grandson now a high school graduate he is bringing his girl friend.  Could you imagine loading 18 people from one family on a Southwest flight.

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