Sunday, March 12, 2017




A PROMISE KEPT WHICH TEARS AT ME EVERY DAY - AND I WOULD DO IT AGAIN BECAUSE A PROMISE OF THIS MAGNITUDE IS AT ONE WITH MY SOUL AND CANNOT BE BROKEN AWAY FROM WHO I AM

I was actually working on a post for the Ralph and Mary Tipton story when i saw this in my youtube video.  It made me think.  I said in a post with a video on the Tipton matter that if you wanted to run for Brownsville city commission you better be at the FBI protest rally.  Everyone running for the COB election ran from the rally for justice.  They had a chance to prove they want to clean up this mess, and they said no.  For me this was a promise.  If you care about Brownsville you will vote a blank ballot to send a message.

I just learned someone without authority cancelled my brother's health insurance coverage for life.  I am now getting unpaid bills.  It may mean selling the house, but I will because now medicare and TRICARE are demanding i go into court to reverse the cancelling of his insurance.  They will not even open a fraud investigation unless I sue.  I made my brother a promise and i intend to keep it, even if i have to sell the house to keep the litigation going. My brother will get healthcare because if need be they will now send him to the VA 30 miles away.   My brain was wired to give meaning to promises of such magnitude - they are part of my soul and you cannot separate your soul from your body.

Trust means everything to me. I was sworn to honor my late brother in laws wish to withhold live support when he made the decision. Well on day three when his wish was being ignored i was called in. The nurse removed an oxygen mask which looked more like an astronaut helmet. He very clearly told me three time to order life support be pulled. 

I put my hand on his chest and told him to go and that my sister his wife was in a new blue dress on the dance floor waiting for him. I asked that he go by the nursing home and take my brother who is suffering a long and painful death. The nurse verified for me he was mentally competent and I gave the order. I know i did the right thing, but I live with it every day. I cannot get out of my head whether i did the right thing. He was ready and suffering for no reason. 

He was certain in his faith God would not judge him. He simply put the decision in God's hands. I can think of nothing more difficult I have done in my life than ordering his life support pulled. It does not matter I was in the room when he passed and saw all of the pain go from his face to pure calm and peace. The doubt as to my actions tear at me every day. It has been nearly a year and two months.

 I was working on something else when i found this video. I watched it because I needed to, but it was painful. If I did the wrong thing, to the family i am sorry. But know all I did was keep a promise he entrusted in me years earlier because he knew for me a promise of this magnitude is a promise to never be broken.

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