Monday, June 13, 2016


THE TALE OF THE RAGMAN AND BEER WENCH

The ragman was a man of mystery and intrigue.  He roamed southern Spain upon returning from the Crusades in 1190, until he met a woman of extreme grace in Almería, Spain.  Her name was Alicia.  His name was Abu Calif. He learn from a mystic while in Jerusalem fighting the Christians how to turn metal into gold by polishing it with rags from Spanish nobility. The mystic told him to move to southern Spain controlled by the Mores to practice his craft.  

In Almería the people just knew him as the man who bought rags from the Spanish nobility.  They knew nothing about where he got the gold.  It was rumored he brought it back from Jerusalem.

Alicia blessed him with two beautiful children.  The mystic blessed his hands with the power to turn metal into gold using the rags of Spanish nobility.  He would spend his days seeking out the most splendid rages before returning to polish metal into gold.  The bankers were all too willing to accept his gold, which he used to destroy Spanish nobility.

He became greedy and bored with his wife of 30 years and found his children to be a burden.  One day while drinking beer, without regard for his faith, he met a beer wench who fled a land which bordered modern day France and Germany.  She knew the Jews, Christians and Mores were all living in peace in southern Spain.   Abu Calif liked the care the girl 30 years his junior put into polishing the beer mugs and asked if she would come work for him polishing his metal.  After a night of sinful drinking and fornication with a married man the beer wench named Donzelle, went to work for Abu Calif the ragman. 

Donzelle quickly learned that so long as she kept Abu Calif happy with afternoon fornication and fellatio, he would pay her well for her work. 

Upon learning Donzelle was pregnant in 1220, Abul Calif’s wife Alicia went to the town priest and asked that her marriage be annulled.  The priest having verified Donzelle was pregnant with the married Abu Calif’s child, the annulment was granted after the birth of Donzelle’s child.  Donzelle then married Abu Calif 30 years her senior and flaunted all of the gold she wanted.

She used the gold to buy influence with the local el representante de la corona, and became his private confident.  She used her influence to bully anyone who saw through her evil ways.
Soon the sorters of the rags were cheated their wages thereby forcing the local judge to force her to pay the wages.  This proved a great humiliation to local el representante de la corona.

In time the Spanish royalty realized their problems were being cause by Abul Calif and Donzelle.   El representante de la corona, was exiled to Morocco and the new el representante de la corona, brought an end to Donzelle reign of terror on her workers and the people of Almería.

Abul Calif was charged with adultery, drunkenness and insulting Allah by his actions.  He was exiled back to modern day Palestine where he could no longer make gold of metal, for abandoning his original children and insulting Allah with his sinful ways.  Donzelle was forever known thereafter as the whore of Almería who was abandoned by her children upon learning the truth about their parents.
Unable to use the rags of the Spanish nobility to turn metal into gold, she fixed the rags and wore them to appear to be nobility when in fact she was forever thereafter known as the whore of Almería.

Abul Calif died a poor man, never repenting for his sins of the flesh. Donelle died in the sewer from which she came after she could not even earn a living as a wench. 

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