Sunday, February 21, 2016

I have been to enough Broadway production weddings in NY to know what a bad wedding looks like.  When the guests are all talking about everything but the bride and groom, no amount of food or liquor will change the fact your wedding lacks intimacy.
From square one this wedding was real.  I was running late and thought - "they are not going to let me in 2 minutes to 5."  Well real people are late so I was actually a bit early.  It started with Denise's father welcoming Jesse to the family as his son.  I have never seen any father in law do that before the vows.  It set the tone for the wedding and made it very, very intimate.  Every aspect of the service was very intimate.  You were not surrounded by a Broadway production which takes away from the bride and groom.  The decorations on the chairs were perfect.  In fact the best invitation to a wedding I have ever seen was this one.  I hate opening invitations with endless filling and envelopes inside.
The bride being secure in her own beauty had her bridesmaids wear beautiful gowns.  I hate when the bridesmaids have to wear clown outfits because the bride is afraid she will not shine on her own.  Denise owned the room. Her own beauty and gown stole the show.
The reception was the coolest reception I have ever been to.  Years ago I went to a NJ wedding where the bride's father was a millionaire and he paid for a millionaire's daughter's wedding.  But you know what I have not one memory of the bride or groom.  I remember the beauty of the 4 grandmothers walking down the isle together. A very rare event.  I remember the Rabbi giving the service in Hebrew, English and Spanish.  I remember the Rabbi explaining how marriage was a contract and the legal history behind marriage in Hebrew law.
I remember a cocktail hour which everyone thought was a stand up dinner because there was roast beef, rib-eyes, salmon steaks and on and on, with an open bar of top shelf.  We could not believe when we were asked to enter a dinning room for a formal dinner.  We were all full.
I remember nothing about the groom or bride.  Not a thing.  The Broadway production was so big the bride and groom were buried in the production not to be remembered.
But last night at every turn the focus was on the bride and groom, so that is what I remember.  We all laughed when Denise could not get the ring on Jesse's finger.  I am thinking he must have been eating some salty snacks before hand.  He has a bad knuckle.
Denise's very young son was the ring bearer.  He walk up to the alter in his very tiny tux, stood next to his future step dad, and performed like a pro.  The last I checked a wedding is about family, not a Broadway production.  Jesse's youngest daughter was the flower girl.  It was awesome watching this beautiful blended family come together.
The reception was at the Party Place off of Morningside.  It was nice.  What I really liked and have never seen before is, instead of making the kids eat something they were not going to eat, the servers brought out pizza, chips and juice boxes for the kids before dinner was served for the adults.  Again the focus was on family. 
I know so many of you have these big wedding Broadway productions in your head.  But if you want your friends and family to remember you and your groom and have a good time, do the perfect wedding instead of the Broadway production wedding.  This was a lovely and perfect wedding.

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