Friday, September 25, 2015


I am on four pills from two medications which are suppose to help me sleep - yea nothing.  Not even tired.  I think this is going to be another 48-72 hours of no sleep.  So I have been FB messaging my many, many nieces and nephews.

My  family is the best there is - we are so, so diverse.  I am so proud of my niece who for a year has been embracing the fact she was born female and not male.  She graduated the Manhattan campus of Fordham and now going through the process of embracing herself. Her B-day is March 4, and mine the 6th so we had a great joint B-Day dinner in Manhattan last March.  Her girlfriend is amazing and made for a great night.  My family has been 100% embracing so there are no issues there.  This is what happens when love is the focus of the family.  Oh mind you we have words, then laugh about.

Another nephew is married to an amazing woman.  They are both rainbow in every way - covered in tattoos, and piercings, but run a successful business,  They are both college graduates with his wife having an MBA.  They travel the world because of their successful business.  In my family we embrace everyone - even the deranged Republican or two.  Through tragedy, they are about to be parents.  She could not have children because of health problems, but a family member died and the courts are now finalizing the adoption of the boy.  They are a great trio.

My family is tight - but very dysfunction and damn proud of it.  I have another nephew who is sexually non-binary and finding his way while making the Deans list every semester.  He will graduate in May.

The younger great nieces are so cool because they love their former male cousin is now a female cousin - they stick together and like the fact the nieces out number the nephews.  They are so funny.

My sister who survived lung cancer is the grandmother of all grandmothers.  She has so my granddaughters and one grandson.  Every year she and her husband [now dealing with cancer himself - but will be okay] pay for a family vacation for all of the kids.  I think they are either at 19 or 21 total. My sister and her husband are paying to bring them all to SPI next year.  They have travelled to Florida many times.  I am surprised the plane has not been forced to land to remove half of them.  Now 5 of them may go to Portugal to see the great grandmother.  The three girls really need to see Portugal while the great grandmother is still alive and on the farm.

My brother is teaching his grandchildren at a very young age auto mechanics and construction.  Both his daughters and son can compete with the best remodelers anywhere.  I hate when my nieces have to tell me about new tools.  But they are the best.  The one in California is very successful and can pay to have all of the work done, but that is not how we were raised.  We do our own repairs. She travels the world as a very successful executive in marketing.  His son is a successful engineer, and  his daughter works in industrial arts, also a university graduate. My sister in law holds them all together which is not easy because they are all Wightman's which means she is managing 4 very difficult personalities. She may be the size of a mouse, but roars and rules as a lion.  For me she is a full sister and not a sister in law.  He mother and I are best of friends and she makes me the best meatballs when I am in NY.

Another brother spends a lot of time and money with an orphanage in Nicaragua.  His wife and kids were raised going back and forth to Nicaragua learning the importance of giving.  They have all worked to make the orphanage better and  the school bigger. He does this through his church.

Another brother has two daughters who have graduated the university even after the divorce from hell.  Neither parent was innocent, but in the end put aside their differences to raise two very, very successful daughters. In the end family came first.  His girls are amazing.

Think about it by 1977, we were without parents, but by being family we all found our ways and all are very well educated.  There were no trusts or money,.  We just worked our asses off.

I can go on and on -

You know daddy taught the older ones hard work and that family always vacations together.  Mom taught us being a widow with 7 kids in a strange country where English is your second language is not an excuse for failure.  At age 44-45 she went back to college to learn to be a social worker with 7 demanding children - although back then it was still legal to take her slipper to us if she could catch us before we got over the fence.   But she taught us we were a team and we still work as a team. We always vacationed together. 

Almost every Sunday she would try and do something with us after church. Her uncle Humberto, [her mom's brother] was god sent in helping her after daddy died.  He really helped her and kept us busy when she just needed a rest.  Humberto was the best.  I know people do not believe this, but I have two witnesses.,  The night he died he came to me to say goodbye.  He was there at my dinning room table making me laugh with his memories.  I had no idea he was sick until the next day when my mother's sister told me tio Humberto died at 7:30 Rhode Island time.  It was 6:30 our time when I was telling my guests how great he was.

I will never forget before mom died a neighbor called the police to complain she feared for her son because her son robbed mom's house and she feared our tightness as a family might endanger her son.  Oh, he paid.  He stayed in his house in fear.  No one would have done anything to him.  The fear of what would happen if we was caught outside was enough to punish him.

Family is everything - I feel so sorry for people without family.  We are tight.  I am so looking forward to Christmas in New York and my birthday in March in New York. Next summer could see as many as 40 family members staying at the Pearl on SPI.   If they get to drinking SPI may need extra security.

My life has been nothing but pure privilege because of family - and not money.


I have VHS of daddy on the roof in Kearns, Utah working on the roof at the same time he was dying from kidney and bladder cancer.  I would love to put it on YOUTUBE, but how do I get it off of the VHS.  This was daddy, nothing was going to hold him down.

Okay, I am going to read.  Sleep is not going to happen.

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