Monday, August 31, 2015

Today's PADA video addresses the issue of abused men.  The video is difficult because it raises the question no one wants to ask.  Can you be so verbally abused that you strike out against your abuser, thereby becoming the abuser.
Many women over the years have told me they must like being abused because the push their men until they hit them.  Well here is the deal, I do not care if you are a man or a woman, if you feel so verbally abused, you walk out of the home rather than engage your abuser.  From a distance, days later you propose counseling.  If they say no, then you walk away from the relationship.  But I do not care how abusive your partner is, if you can get out of the home or other environment, that is what you do rather than striking your partner.
Yes, there will be times the only way to save yourself is self defense.  That is another issue.
In this film, I know both men and women watching it will feel like it would have been okay for the man to hit his wife.  No it is not.  I like the film short because it has the man doing the right thing. 
The film does run short on asking the question - what role does mental illness play in all of this?  When it comes to domestic abuse mental illness is a big part on both sides.  But mental illness is not  a license to assault someone. It can be a defense to a criminal charge wherein the abuser can have the charges reduced after completing a year of therapy and a recommendation from their therapist that they made progress, but it is never, ever a license to assault another person.

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