Thursday, June 19, 2014


Note - Male to Female [mtf] or Female to Male [ftm]


I know this is a theme with a small audience, which is sad.  The theme is not transgender people, it is the fear of the medical community to join the 21st century.

Several years ago a female from the South African Olympic team was banned as a female because genetic testing showed she was a man.  But yet, with this technology readily available doctors as the child is born continue to say it is a "girl" or "boy".  No you quack, without genetic testing and possibly some other testing such as a brain MRI you cannot declare the gender of the child.  But these quacks will continue with the practice.

Gender is not, I repeat, is not qualified by a penis or vagina.  Your gender is defined by your genetic makeup. 

I have profiled children who as young as 5 are being allowed to transition from their imposed gender identity to their real gender identity. 

I will not mislead anyone - this is a difficult field.  There are politically active psychiatrists and psychologists who push the child or adult in one direction or the other instead of guiding them through the process which includes genetic testing and brain MRI's.  But even if the medical testing proves you are transgender it does not end there.

There is a Victoria Secret model who is MTF transgender.  She got irritated with Katie Couric because Katie wanted to know about the penis issue- did she or didn't she have it removed.  This is the problem - the penis has nothing to do with gender.  You can have a penis and be a woman.  But some doctors and activists insist you cannot fully transition without severing the penis.

No, part of the process is accepting that your penis does not identify your gender. Only after you accept this reality can you make an informed decision about severing the penis.  There are many MTF transgender woman happy with a penis.  It is not for everyone.  The spectrum is huge.  The surgery is actually quite advance at this point.  Remember in utero we were female before being male.  The nerve endings in the scrotum and penis are used to make the constructed vagina very sensitive to sexual intercourse.

But my point is - until the MTF transgender understands the penis  does not take away from her being a woman, she cannot make a truly informed decision about the surgery.  Because our medical community is still living in the dark ages, they cannot understand this and in far too many cases fail to help the transgender patient with the right decisions. 

Christine Jorgensen, pictured above, was the first well known MTF transgender in the U.S.  You can see from the post how happy she was to go through the operations.  Back then it was not so easy.  But she did it.  Years later she stated that she wanted other MTF transgender to know that she wish she had understood the penis did not define her gender.  She did not regret the surgery, she just wish she had understood then what she understood now - she was a woman with a penis and that the penis did not define her gender.

Some MTF transgender will feel more complete with the complete surgery, and for this reason they should pursue it.  But some MTF transgender feel better by keeping the penis.

It is very complex.  Some are MTF lesbians, some are MTF who want to continue having sex with men and find the penis important.  I would suggest that we include the MTF or M hermaphrodite.  It is a very, very complex spectrum of choices.


You cannot even have this discussion with doctors.  Anal intercourse can be a form of medical treatment for a host of colo-rectal diseases.  But doctors simply refuse to even  consider the anecdotal evidence coming from the patients.  Now gay gastroenterologists understand the issue, but they are not ignorant to reality. 

We know that the vagina and rectum for example absorb anti-depressants which are in semen.   We know that a man should ejaculate at least 5 times a week to keep a healthy prostate.  Good luck having that conversation with your doctor.  It is not sex when you are discussing it with your doctor it is medicine.

On this issue I can write pages - but the religious community will have a melt down.

Sex is a very complex spectrum of choices.  Some people can emotionally handle multiple sexual partners over the course of their life.  Others cannot and lose the ability to be intimate with one person.  Some can be swingers and still love their spouse with all their heart and remain married for 60+ years.  Personally, I am not comfortable with sharing my partner.  In my personal world - key - personal world - I would have preferred to have met Mr. Right or Mrs. Right in college and married with that person being the only sexual partner in my history.

There is another issue you cannot discuss with your doctor because social norms are considered medicine.

The spectrum on sexuality is huge.  There is a well known soccer player in the UK who came out with his wife to announce she likes to be on top sometimes and he likes to be penetrated sometimes.  He is not gay, he is just embracing his desires while allowing his wife to embrace hers.  They actually did a video as part of the coming out process.  They are happily married and intend to stay that way.

People should be able to go to their doctors and discuss these things, but they cannot because doctors care more about social norms and their religious beliefs than medicine.

Had I known what I know now, at age 12 or so I would not have been so  confused about my sex drive for both boys and girls.  I lived in the world which said the sex drive for boys was a crime and wrong and the sex drive  for girls would be cheating.  Twice I could have married, but I walked away from the relationship because it made no sense to me.  I wanted to be with both men and women.  There was no way of telling her how I  felt - the times were different.

Today I understand if I were to fall in love with a woman, it would be like any other monogamous relationship - yes I will get excited over other men and women, but I am monogamous.  I now understand this and tell this to men who are married who are cheating on their wives with men.

These men are a dime a dozen in Brownsville - I tell them "if you were straight would you step out on your wife for another woman just because they make your horny?"  If the answer is no, then I say why do you feel compelled to step out on your wife if it is a man?

And even there - if the partners agree to partners outside of marriage - something I could never do - maybe I am too insecure - I say go for it.  So long as you are honest with your partner you should explore your desires.

But I always caution - wear a cover - STD's are real.

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