Saturday, September 6, 2008

Editot's note: For everything Dr Laura is not, she did not reason herself out of her well known position on this issue for political expediency. My mother raised 7 children on her own. She had no choice but to work. As number 6 of the 7, I know although she did her best, we were all short changed. Although I will say, she probably spent more time with her kids than most of our friends parents did with their kids. I will also say, once the grandchildren began to arrive, her time became even more limited. When I speak against Sarah Palin on this issue I speak from experience. I will tell you numbers 4 and 5 really got short changed.

I am extremely disappointed in the choice of Sarah Palin as the Vice Presidential candidate of the Republican Party. I will still vote for Senator McCain, because I am very concerned about having a fundamental leftist, especially one who is a marvelous orator, as President.

At first, I thought it amusing that McCain picked a pretty, smart, and tough female to counter the racist/sexist accusations going back and forth between parties. I remember how Oprah Winfrey got caught in the cross-fire as she stepped up to the political table to support Obama with pride that a black man could rise to such heights in the USA, only to get slammed by feminists who told her it was gender, not race, that she should back. Understandably, Ms. Winfrey pulled back from it all.

Forget gender and race. I’m frankly and sadly caught in the dilemma of having to balance policy versus example in touting a candidate for the office of the First Family. I was ferociously attacked (what’s new?) when I spoke out strongly against Bill Clinton’s dalliances in the Oval Office. That situation quickly turned into a debate whether “private has anything to do with public.” Nonsense. Role models are very important. Children and young adults look to those who are visible and successful as a road map of what is acceptable behavior and emulate those actions over the morals and values their parents and churches have taught and tried to reinforce. It’s a tough go these days, when the “bad that men or women do” is used for entertainment purposes without judgment, or is excused because of political or financial considerations.

I’m stunned - couldn’t the Republican Party find one competent female with adult children to run for Vice President with McCain? I realize his advisors probably didn’t want a “mature” woman, as the Democrats keep harping on his age. But really, what kind of role model is a woman whose fifth child was recently born with a serious issue, Down Syndrome, and then goes back to the job of Governor within days of the birth?

I am haunted by the family pictures of the Palins during political photo-ops, showing the eldest daughter, now pregnant with her own child, cuddling the family’s newborn. When Mom and Dad both work full-time (no matter how many folks get involved with the children), it becomes a somewhat chaotic situation. Certainly, if a child becomes ill and is rushed to the hospital, and you’re on the hotline with both Israel and Iran as nuclear tempers are flaring, where’s your attention going to be? Where should your attention be? Well, once you put your hand on the Bible and make that oath, your attention has to be with the government of the United States of America.

I am positively moved that neither Sarah nor her daughter were willing to terminate the lives of their unborn children. This is in sharp contrast to Obama’s statement that “When it comes specifically to HIV/AIDS, the most important prevention is education, which should include…which should include abstinence education and teaching children…teaching children, you know, that sex is not something casual. But it should also include - it should also include other, you know, information about contraception, because, look, I’ve got two daughters, 9 years old and 6 years old. I am going to teach them first of all about values and morals. But if they make a mistake, I don’t want them punished with a baby.” (March, 2008)

So, one Vice Presidential candidate and her daughter demonstrate, under conditions of great stress, that babies are valued human beings, not punishment. However, that same VP candidate came forth in April of 2008 with a proclamation for “Family Child Care Week,” in which she wrote: “These professionals are positive role models for the children they care for and the communities they serve.” Clearly, Palin sees the need for positive role models. I suggest that they be Mommy and Daddy, and not the hired help.

Child-care facilities are a necessity when mothers and fathers (when they exist at all) are unwilling or incapable of caring for their offspring. Unfortunately, they have become a mainstay of the feminista mentality that nothing should stand in the way of a woman’s ambition - nothing, including her family.

Any full-time working wife and mother knows that the family takes the short end of the stick. Marriages and the welfare of children suffer when a stressed-out mother doesn’t have time to be a woman, a wife, and a hands-on Mommy.


Anonymous said...

The next subject you post should be about something your have a working knowledge or even capability of understanding.

I am a working mother with five children. All are well fed, have a roof over their heads, understand the "rules" of the household, and excel in school, friends and extra-curricular activities. We have five because we wanted five - not because we had three and the next two just slipped in. I am sorry you had a "poor pitiful me" relationship within your own mother - maybe that had something to do with your self-proclaimed sexual orientation. And based on this rant, an obvious problem with women in general.

Why is it that just because Palin is a woman she is slammed by fools like you who think that women should be at home - "barefoot and pregnant" - IT TAKES TWO to make a child - NOT ONE! The antiquated viewpoints you smear here are just that - outdated, unrealistic and untrue.

Children who succeed come from parents who unconditionally love and trust them. The number of hours spent means nothing - it is the quality of time. We have dinner as a family more than the friends I have where the mother stays home. Yes somebody else makes the meal, but each of our children are not "taken care of" by anybody but us - the food, cleaning, and mundane, unimportant, don't want it on my tombstone, stuff yes, but the important things like character, loyalty, love, and compassion comes only from us.

You do not have to super woman to be a successful mother, wife, employee/employer or VP of the US. And certainly no more than a man. From my experience the mothers that work are far more organized and have children that a better behaved, better students, and by far better future citizens. Where on the other hand the children of "stay at home moms" on average are more self-centered, self-involved, have no understanding on how to develop relationships, because their parents do it all for them.

I wade through your blog because sometimes you have something interesting to say - TODAY WAS NOT ONE OF THOSE DAYS.

BobbyWC said...


If you have read all of my posts on the issue I have made it clear this would apply equally to the men. I made it clear in my post my mother spent more time with us, although she worked, then my friends' parents spent with them.

I understand why so many women are frustrated with this issue. They have spent 28 years fighting the social conservatives to earn their freedom, and now the social conservatives throw out Palin as their best choice for VP.

But here is my proof your voice is in anger and not fact - you said I should try talking about something I know about. Well according to you the number 6 child of 7 of a widow, does not know anything about what it is like to be the child of a working mother.

According to you the emotions of the children do not matter. That is the problem with the pick of Sarah Palin. Have you ever really sat down with your children to find out how they feel? You made your position clear, my feelings as the child do not qualify me to speak on the issue.

She has an 8 or 9 year old daughter - after dealing with VP duties all day - when she gets home who will get her attention first of the children - Trig and rightfully so (unless he is asleep because she is getting off work at 10 p.m. - remembet this is VP - not some 8-6 job.) Then she is going to attend to Bristol and the baby - then the 8 year old.

Are you really saying the 8 year old will not be cheated. And then there is Todd.

If this were an 8-6 job M-F, I would not be concerned. This is a 24/7 job.

I agree that because the way we were raised we are now all very independent. We all had to learn how to cook, clean, and survive on our own. Anyone who knows me knows, I would prefer to be a lot less independent.

Oh and when you talk to your kids, remember kids love their parents - kids have a way of hiding the truth about how they feel. We never told her because we could all see how badly she felt all of the time.

From a child of a working mother, who according to you is not qualified to speak to the issue

Bobby WC

Anonymous said...

My point exactly - you have never been a mother OR a father and you can't possibly understand until you do - everybody is a child but not everybody is a parent. That is the key difference to your limited one-sided perspective on this issue.

The Palin children also have a father - and by all appearances, a very loving and involved father. By your own admission, you grew up just fine with one parent. The Palin children have two, albeit, one that will be busier than most women in the US ... BUT she is still their mother and with trust and love, they will succeed. If she had been a man, this would not be a topic of discussion by bloggers who share your limited view and experience - and that is what chaps my a#@X.

You have the nerve to tell me how to talk to my children. Again, don't preach until you have the experience to do so.

One subject you do know is the relationship you had with your mother. I am sorry you felt you needed to hide many of your feelings. Your gross generalization that all children hide their feelings is absurd. When it comes to major issues and needs, my kids do not. The reason - because their father and I trust them. Trust is the keystone to any relationship and absolutely necessary if that relationship is to succeed. I guess you didn't trust your feelings, therefore could not share them with your mother. That lack of trust comes from how you felt your parent would react.

Children who do not trust their parents for fear of their reaction, tend to be more negative, less capable of establishing and maintaining relationships, and generally unable to handle the ups/downs of daily life.

If you had truly listened to my comment, you would see that my only point was that you have never been, and by all indications will never be, a parent - and your limited "childish" viewpoint, is just that.

BobbyWC said...

I am in complete disbelief that you so discount the opinion of the child who lived through having a working mother.

Some facts - if you have read everything I have written on the issue you would know I went after Tony Snow when he accepted the position of White House spokesman - I found it to be selfish for a man with cancer to put that type additional stress on himself and additional hours of work when he already had a better paying job at Fox. He had a family and children who needed him more than Bush.

So please leave the excuse that I am using a double standard between women and men in the trash where it belongs.

I would be shocked to learn that most children would go to a parent and tell them they feel cheated because the mother or father works too much.

In our home all topics were on the table - we had very open discussions about sex, drugs, homosexuality, alchohol - you name it.

But you know to suggest that just because a child chooses to not burden the single mother with the knowledge they as the child feel burdened with the extra responsibilities, or they hate seeing their mother always tired and overwhelmed that the child and parent do not have good communication is just stupid.

Sometimes compassion and love dictate you not express feelings which will make someone feel worse than they aready feel. That would be cruel.

If she had no power over having to work, to what end would a loving compassionate child complain to the parent that they hate the fact their mother has to work. It is called having compassion for your mother.

She knew how we felt - she was our mother - we chose - out of compassion to not express our feelings beyond our faces.

There was no judgment - it was reality. We accepted it - she understood we accepted it. But it did not relieve the pain she felt, nor the pain as her children we felt.

Once when I was 16, I asked for something. I knew she could not give it to me. But I asked in hopes she would find a way. She was washing dishes. She turned in tears and said "you have never asked for anything, why are you asking for this?"

You see I did not want to be gay. It was the cruelest thing I ever did to her. It was 1974.

The issue with Palin has nothing to do with her working. If you have read her story - she has quite successfully managed the responsibilities of governor and mother. But VP is not governor - it is 24/7.

Her children love her - so they will say nothing - she as a loving mother will see it in their faces -she will feel the quilt.

But in this case - she is choosing to put her family through this - in the case of my mother - it was work or starve. She made it up to us on weekends - camping, fishing, travelling while sleeping in camp grounds. Sarah Palin as VP does not get weekends off - it is 24/7

Bobby WC