Wednesday, March 26, 2008

WEARING CAPRI PANTS SHOULD BE A FELONY AND THE ADVENTURES OF PAT ALMIGHTY, AND SHORTY BOY DICK LONGORIA

Some mornings I just do not know what to talk about. I have things on my mind, I just cannot decide which has the most value. Sometimes levity is an important reprieve. I considered talking about making the wearing of Capri pants a felony, but then I thought some of you like 250 pound women with hairy arses and hair growing up their back who wear hip-hugger Capri pants with a belly shirt - so who am I to judge. I am convinced these men are really closeted gay men because most of them are walking Adonises. They just cannot admit what they really want is gay bear, so they turn to the next best thing, a 250 woman with a hairy arse and back. Ladies, even I use Nair for men to keep my back from looking like a jungle.

Then I thought about combining something moronic Glenn Beck said yesterday with the issue of compassion raised by Ed on Aim Low, but then I thought that would take too long to write - maybe tomorrow.

Today I will address Pat Almighty and Nancy Boy Longoria’s respective ideas related to solving the budget shortage at City Hall. Pat Almighty’s plan is simple - let’s create another bureaucracy, and taxing authority to tax for public works issues so that the money does not have to come out of the general fund. Of course he does suggest lowing our property taxes which go into the general fund and then redirecting them to the new taxing authority. So what is the difference if it is the same money? The new taxing authority allows Pat Almighty and the Nancy boys to hire a bunch more highschool graduates to manage the operation. This is basically more money being wasted on more personnel. It is buying their future by hiring their friends to mismanage more of the people’s money.

It is also a fraud on the people. Pat Almighty has figured that people will be more likely to approve a property tax increase if the money has to go to public works. PAT LET’S BE CLEAR - not a penny more of our money so long as you and the Nancy Boys are in office. You have proven you are too stupid and ignorant to manage our money when you decided to hire a highschool graduate to oversee the multimillion dollar budget over at Public Works.

Now to Nancy Boy Longoria (word has it Phoney Tony Troiani became frustrated upon learning Longoria was coming up short - I think their love affair may be in trouble). I will be the first to go after bad cops. Longoria wants to fix all of our problems by denying firefighters and police officers the right to negotiate their wages. On balance I feel like Brownsville has one of the best law enforcement agencies in Texas. In Dallas they are so underfunded and underpaid that they no longer have patrols. This invites crime. We do not want this in Brownsville. It is what we will have if "Shorty Boy" Longoria gets his way.

Firefighters and police officers put their life on the line every day to protect us. I only want the best and most qualified in these positions. Courage "Shorty Boy" Longoria is going to the people and saying - we must raise taxes if we are to keep you safe. Courage is not dividing the city by denying our firefighters and police officers a fair wage and benefits. Hey "Shorty Boy" isn’t Ricardo for Richard and the nick name for Richard, Dick? Going after our firefighters and police officers have earned you the new nick name of "Shorty Boy Dick Longoria"

THE END

6 comments:

The Merovingian said...

Remember, spandex is a privilege, not a right. -Jeff Foxworthy

BobbyWC said...

Guys I unintentionally deelted two posts which some how got processed as spam - I automatically delete spam - as I was deleting it I realized I saw Merov and an anon

I did not do it on purpose - you can repost if you wish

Anonymous said...

BWC,

I wanted to hear about how you remove hair from your arse almost as little as I wanted to hear about the cows in hiphiggers.

BobbyWC said...

you only had to read about it - I had to look at it -

Unknown said...

I wear capris all the time! I really enjoyed this post Bobby. Glad to have you back.

The Merovingian said...

Melissa Zamora said...
I wear capris all the time!


You, Melissa, AND ONLY MELISSA, have the inalienable right to do so, it has been thus adjudicated by the Fashion Police. Others may come forward for judgment in this matter, but in the meantime, for you others: do not go to the mall in them until you have a determination of eligibility from the Fashion Police ;)